Smoking damages your health!

I was at this really cool party with a couple of my friends and my cousin. There were probably 100 people in this 3 room apartment, and definitely enough alcohol to go around. So, after about 4 grey goose citron shooters, and 4 drinks (all containing massive amounts of alcohol) I decided to work my way through the crowd to go smoke a cigarette. As I get into the “smokers” hallway, I’m surprised to see a place on the wall for me to lean against. After about 5 minutes of talking to people I have never met, and will probably never remember, the wall shattered from behind me. It turned out that I was leaning against the window, and it shattered all over the floor! My friends looked at me in shock, and my cousin immediately left, because she didn’t want to get blamed for it, and I was left explaining why the window was in about a million places all over the floor. The guy was cool with it, but I guess the cops weren’t because they showed up about 10 minutes later. I didn’t even notice I had a 3-inch rip in my jeans until my friend pointed it out on the way to the car!

Submitted by Maria

More on page 59

Take my number, and bra!

Me and my friend Miranda got really drunk and as our friend was driving us home we pulled up to a car of hot guys, took off our shirts and bras, put our phone numbers in the cups and threw it over to them. They called us the next morning… Miranda is now married to one of them.

Submitted by Z and M

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Car for sale: Has arse print!

One night me and a couple buddies were getting sloshed because my friend had just broken it off his two year long relationship. We then went driving around in my car. Soon we found ourselves at a red light with a car full of hotties next to us, so my buddy gave them a full pressed moon on the back window, and left a nasty sweaty ass print on my window. I sold the car a couple weeks later with the ass print still on, he paid extra for that!

Submitted by Cody

More on page 57

Magic Marker Man!

Confessions Comments (0)

One night after a hard day of pounding Absolute Club & Cran’s I walked around to my apartments front porch and being such a nice evening (I think) I passed out on my porch glider. When I awoke several hours later I found that my wife and one of her friends had stripped me down to my underwear and decorated my entire body  with multi coloured magic marker tattoo’s!

Submitted by Dave Chapman

Landlord @ September 11, 2008

Three’s company, four’s awesome!

Confessions Comments (0)

One night, my girlfriend and I decided to get drunk with a girlfriend of hers, and her husband. I had just gotten paid so I didn’t care if I spent a lot of money on alcohol. The dude bought a load too… liquor, mudslide mix, wine coolers and beer. We starting mixing everything like idiots and got slammed, luckily we brought a camera with us. The girls got wild and stripped for us and ended up giving us head while we sat their drinking beer and playing chess. A night to remember.

Submitted by Mark Redmond

Landlord @ May 15, 2008

Hello Gran!

Confessions Comments (0)

After a cancelled rubgy match, me and a couple of mates began drinking at the respectable time of 1 o’clock, and by 7 o’clock we were all a bit worse for wear. By by 11 o’clock (chucking out time) I was bundled into a car and taken home, where I turned on my television to reveal a Channel 5 blue movie. Now sexually excited, I began to “beat my meat” and imagine my surprise when I was rudely interupted by my gran who I had been warned would be sleeping in my room. After an embarrasing pause she ran out screaming and fetched my parents, at which point I had to explain my actions, then I passed out! Breakfast the next morning was a surreal experience as you can imagine.

Submitted by Phillip Evans

Landlord @ May 13, 2008