Red-faced chubby chaser!
Landlord @ February 27, 2008 # No Comment Yet
One Friday night at my local, after about 5 pints of John Smiths and two double Southern Comforts, I started to eye up my best mates husband who in the the cold sober light is hideously overweight with a Bobby Charlton combover and breath that would melt lead, but as I was so bladdered he looked like Peter Kay and not Barry Evans. Anyway I found myself following him into the mens toilets, licking my lips and winking like I had a nervous twitch. He seemed surprised but didn’t push me away as I moved in for the kill. Needless to say things got really heated, when the toilet door swung open to reveal his father-in-law, brother-in-law and my father all very open mouthed and very red-faced.
Submitted by Sarah W
More on page 23
We got him!
Landlord @ February 27, 2008 # No Comment Yet
It’d been a while since I’d had a drink, I was feeling pretty lonely and the smell of stale food trapped in my beard was getting to me. So I decided to drink all the alcohol I could lay my hands on, and when I could no longer feel my legs it happened, they came and found me. I could do nothing other than stumble out of my hidey hole and give myself up to the soldiers. Damn drink, it was all going so well up to then.
Submitted by Saddam H
More on page 22
Two’s company, three’s a party!
Landlord @ February 26, 2008 # No Comment Yet
I was at a mates party and was very drunk. I had an argument with my then ex-boyfriend, and I went upstairs, followed by his best mate, who comforted me. We ended up having the best sex of my life, then my boyfriend walked in half way through and he joined in. It was the best night of my life, a threesome with two blokes!
Submitted by Elizabeth
More on page 21
Spin spin sugar!
Landlord @ February 26, 2008 # No Comment Yet
At a friends party we all got rather drunk and ended up playing spin the bottle… only we all had to kiss members of both sexes. This meant that I had to kiss a couple of blokes - still, at least it meant we could kiss all the girls there, and watch the girls kiss each other…
Submitted by Dave C
More on page 20
Yo’ dirty mutha humper!
Landlord @ February 26, 2008 # No Comment Yet
A few years ago at my mother’s birthday party, after everyone went home, her and I cleaned up our house, and after we were done we also cleaned up the rest of the remaining alcohol. We both got so drunk it was unreal, and I passed out. I woke up later because I felt someone touching my crotch area. I woke up to see my mother giving me oral sex. She was too drunk to know who I was, and I was so drunk I let her do it. Yes pretty bad huh? That’s my dirty drunk confession.
Submitted by Josh
More on page 19
Wet bed fiasco!
Landlord @ February 25, 2008 # No Comment Yet
Well it’s quite embarrassing actually… the other night I went out to the bar with some of my friends and when I got home at 3am I went to bed and woke up the next day with a soaking wet mattress. Yuck.
Submitted by Dave
More on page 18
Phone call munchies!
Landlord @ February 25, 2008 # No Comment Yet
My boyfriend was out of town so I went out with my girlfriend. We went to a party, got drunk and I met this awesome hot guy. We stayed overnight his house and got up the next day and continued to get drunk. My boyfriend called me to see what I was doing, I went into another room to tell him I was at my friend’s boyfriends house. All of a sudden, the guy I met came into the room I was in. He knew I was on the phone so he slowly pushed me onto the bed and gave me the most amazing head, while I was on the phone with my boyfriend.
Submitted by Michele
More on page 17
Broadneck party foul!
Landlord @ February 24, 2008 # No Comment Yet
This is in tribute to all the Broadneck graduates class of 2001. The word “party foul” is defined as an action or something you do while you are drunk at a party. Well at a certain particular party after graduation I was the party foul. I never recommend drinking a 12 pack of hard lemonade by your self in a hot tub full of horny drunk mates. After kissing every guy at the party, flashing underclassmen for smoke, and cheating on my boyfriend with 2 different people, I passed out. If only it had happened sooner.
Submitted by Teresa
More on page 15
Exhibitionists prop up bar!
Landlord @ February 24, 2008 # No Comment Yet
I went out with my mates after college and had a lot to drink. My mates kept pouring more and more drinks down my neck. Anyway there was a really cute guy and he kept looking at me, so I went up to him and asked him there was something wrong with him!! He said yes. I haven’t had a good lay in months, so me being stupid told him to drop his pants there and then and I had sex with him at the bar in full view of everyone.
Submitted by Sarah
More on page 14
What would mother say?
Landlord @ February 23, 2008 # No Comment Yet
On an official, er, I mean important trip to Scotland I consumed rather too many glasses of fine malt whisky which left me a little worse for wear. This meant that my aide, er, I mean best friend, Jim, had to assist me to my bedroom. Well, he was so kind and I’m afraid that we ended up in bed togther. Deary me, what would mother say if she ever found out….
Submitted by Charles
More on page 10